I'M NEW!
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From: Angelique L.
Date: Thursday, October 12, 2006, 9:17 PM
Subject: I'm new!
Reply to: 256892
ID: 254440

Hi Lolly, Looks like you've come to that place of awakening. No matter what happens from here on out, you've taken a big step toward breaking the cycle by speaking out.

I'm a filmmaker and have been working on domestic terrorism for about ten years. I began work on a film more than ten years ago-- "Violence Begins At Home" to address this pervasive dirty secret that continues to be perpetuated because our society refuses to confront it head on. My passion concerns Children Who Witness Violence which is child abuse. You can hear from other women like yourself at www.discover-films.com/vbh. What I've learned over the years is that family violence is a very vicious cycle and that perpetrators of this sickness usually grew up in a violent home. Emotional abuse is also an act of violence and the damage is just as severe as the worst physical violence to a child.

Two years ago I founded Children's Health Initiative to address this problem from the beginning and not wait until much of the damage is beyond repair. I invite everyone to join together to stop violence before it can take root and grow. Check out our web site at www.childrenshealthinitiative.net. Violence is a learned behavior and only will be stopped when it is no longer tolerated and accepted.

Thank you for doing your part by speaking out and refusing to remain a silent victim. Hang in there. Take care and remember, TOGETHER we can BREAK THE CYCLE.

Namaste. Angelique

------ On 10/11/06, Lolly Gray wrote ------

Hi. My name is Lolly. I have a long history of male dominance and male sexual and psychological abuse. I have had to fight very hard to protect my children from the abuser. I am still not free (the court system, and the old "But he's the children's father, and they need to have a good positive relationship with him, crap." This kind of attitude only serves to keep women silent about abusers. Forget trying to prove psychological abuse - they won't even listen, can't be proven. My abuser knew this, and was usually able to make sure every abuse was legal abuse.

I no longer believe in marriage or having children because I do not want to have to petition the state for my own children or to request from them if I or my children may move or not.

I am tired of the silence of marital abuse because the children shouldn't hear those bad things, and no one else can help you and don't want to hear you. There is an unspoken rule of silence. Men abuse and violate our bodies and minds, women don't talk about it.

I am angry. I am developing my psychic abilities and intuition. I now trust myself completely and will never let anyone psychologically abuse me again. They - friends and family - all had me convinced I was just crazy and a man hater, and needed to get "help" (through the white male hierarchy system - what a joke!).

No, it is not half my fault. I will not take responsibility any more for what a male does to me or my children. But how do we protect all of the women who are being told to give in, work on it, and the worst comment of all - well, you chose it, you allowed it! As if we were choosing to be raped and psychologically abused on purpose.

For this reason, I say to all girls and women, choose not to marry, and choose not to have children (unless you really can do it all by yourself, and never tell the father he has a child, because heaven knows what he and the court system will try to do to you.) You can't protect yourself if you have a child. Now their welfare becomes priority over yours, and women will do almost anything for the sake of a child, even "allowing" abuse to themselves if that is the only thing that will protect their child. Don't risk it.

Any comments?

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