COLLECTIVE QUESTIONS, COLLECTIVE WISDOM
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From: Barbara C.
Date: Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 8:24 AM
Subject: collective questions, collective wisdom
ID: 264764
Dear All,
Yesterday I wrote a message about Listening to what is being said and NOT being said in the "open forum". I must admit I am floored by the number and quality of private emails I have received in response. It definitely touched a nerve, as similar ones have in the past. Apparently a lot of women are frustrated and WANT to express important things here but, for various reasons, they don't feel free to say it in lightpages. My friend and I spent a lot of time pulling out some of the comments that came through which we think are powerful and eye opening and wise. I hope it is okay to share them anonymously, and that no one is offended or harmed by my doing this. I wont add any comments. I think they speak for themselves.
Barb -- Quotes from the field: -- "Thank you for saying this out loud -- I feel much the same way." (4 times) -- "My email did not go through. Could be a glitch but I think it was censored." (3x) -- "I am CERTAIN some messages have been censored - this is totally unacceptable." (2x) -- "A previous email compared this Sophia2010 culture to "old Russia". I agree. This very much like a communist state where there's one view and one way, and that's the law. Any other view is seen as speaking against the Republic and called an attack against the people. (or in our forum - "disagreeing is not nice.") Questions are filtered and disagreements are silenced. Repeat offenders will be punished publicly. I've read about it, but have never actually been part of a culture like this, with guards at the doors who monitor what I say and decide if others will hear it. It's hard to believe this is happening in the US, especially in the name of Sophia!!" -- "Something is definitely wrong with this picture. It's sad, and kind of scary." -- "They said they moved us to a different space because the conversation was threatening to 'kill the dream.' How can having an open, honest conversation kill the dream, if the dream is open and honest? What part of this dream is threatened by people asking questions about how things are decided and run? THAT is my question." "I'm thinking of leaving. They don't want real input anyway. What a shame." (3 x) "My name is still on the list, but I'm not really here." (3x) " Thank you for sending this message. I am on the other side of the wall and wondering what's been happening. I'd like to hear an update that is not censored." (3 x) "These are American women doing control. How do they think you're going to succeed this way? Ridiculous!" " They say people are upset by the conversation. I think most are upset because they started a conversation, then shut down when we didn't agree and started asking questions." (2) " At first I assumed the division was just personalities, which is normal. In that case, everyone just needs to calm down and find another way to do the work, together but apart. Now I see something deeper is off here, and it can't all be blamed on personalities and "other people." There's obviously more to this situation, and it seems no one wants us to talk about it. I agree with your email -- What IS NOT being said here??" (2) " I'm not sure why I feel so intimidated to get on a call or write these things down. Maybe it's because two other people already got slammed for disagreeing. What are they going to do - get rid of us all? " Maybe WE should start an OPEN open forum (for women), or start clean with another initiative." (2) "I feel like we've all been locked in a padded room with sound-tracks of I pledge allegiance and kum ba ya! Meanwhile I understand a small group of people are meeting in NY this week to decide Sophia's fate. This feels like a long movie that's going to have a very unhappy ending." "I came here because I wanted to be part of something and make a difference. But it seems like a small group of people hold all the power and plan to keep it that way. I honestly have no idea what the rest of us are here for, except do grunt work and applaud." "Why CAN'T we all just get along, I wonder? Who said we have to agree on everything to be together -- my husband and I disagree on almost everything and we've been together 18 years. He watches TV in the den and I watch in the bedroom. Isn't there enough rooms for everyone? Isn't that the point?" "Why can't we just talk to each other?" -- -- -- -- -- -- Listening (a poem submitted by Judy Grosch) Listening
I want to learn
to listen to you,
not to chatterings
in my mind,
to hear your over
and your undertones,
not my judgments
of your every word. br> Why is this
so difficult?
Why can't I stop the
running commentaries?
I want to hear
I wan to feel
what lingers there
between your words
between your pauses.
What are your
untold stories
waiting to be told?
Will I also
be aware of
the unspoken
riding on
your sighs?
Once I can
do all that
I'm on my way
to listening to you,
no longer
just to me.
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