RESPONSE TO MICHAEL BARR
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From: Ann S.
Date: Sunday, October 5, 2008, 1:06 PM
Subject: Response to Michael Barr
ID: 265000

Dear Michael Barr,

I am responding to you as someone who has also helped with group process and organizational devepment.

“I've watched these power-play situations in groups for years at the mgmt levels. The Baptist Women's group had division after division, before and after their prayer meetings! WOVA had an inside take-over that split the group and ran with the power. Gather-the-Women had ego issues and breakdowns from day one. The Women for Peace groups still argue and fight behind the scenes. Now the Sophia Conference has gone the same way. As long as women keep doing this to each other, the good you do is dwarfed and tarnished. “

Yes this is true for many women’s groups and organizations as well as those led by men. The tradition male aggressive behaviors are destructive as well as the traditional female behaviors of passive- aggressive. What I experienced with groups and organizations that fail is that they have not set firm working agreements that deal with destructive behaviors. I witnessed this in Church Women United and as a board member representing the executive directors of Protestant women’s organizations tried to get them to create standards of behavior. When I worked in the Episcopal Church as the executive director, I had the best consultants in organizational development working for me first for free because the women’s budget was non-existent, then for a much reduced fee. We had seventeen years of success in all of our international, national, regional meetings as well as our leadership programs that taught circle principles and assertiveness training. We held one another accountable and if someone chose to break the principles they chose to leave.

Circle (Sophia) Principles were stated when we first formed SophiaWWC; when broken nothing happened. At our February 23, 2008 meeting we included non-violent communication and no undermining and I believed we had consensus in deciding that whoever chose to break our agreements would be asked to leave. However, it was not written down and posted. We now have done so for Sophia2010.

The breakup occurred the end of August and we five are making attempts for healing with the hope that with time we will come to peaceful agreements of how to move forward as two separate entities related to Sophia.

“A lot of women are very upset by this (because I'm hearing it almost every day). As a professional consultant, I would recommend the 2010 group hires a team of neutral advisors and lawyers immediately to talk this through and help get this thing back on track. Then structure it in a way that is above board, and fair to everybody, and install a system that keeps things in check.”

We have friends and colleagues such as Christina Baldwin and others who are helping us. We also are in conversations with lawyers and organizational consultants who are the best at negotiating to yes and other forms of mediation. As professionals they don’t take sides but bring their expertise in finding help.

It is my prayer that the negative air is cleared from the past and we leave behind all the assumptions and finger-pointing. We don’t have to blame or find fault or continue to try to patch up a broken relationship, but rather learn from our individual and collective mistakes and co-create structures of grace grounded in working agreements that move us forward in life-giving relationships. I do believe it is very important to clear the field so that the negativity/shadow/ or whatever we want to call this does not carry forth into our future work as the women’s/human potential movement.

Sophia International Connections is about making deep connections within ourselves, one another and the natural world. I am asking all who want to help co-create local and global (glocal) relationships grounded in Sophia Principles to please join with us. I am open to all feedback based on non-violent communications and believe talking by phone is much better than email.

Namaste!!! Ann Smith Chair, International Connections Sophia 2010, Women and Wisdom