FINDING SOPHIA'S GIFT
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From: Sandra B.
Date: Wednesday, October 29, 2008, 7:12 AM
Subject: Finding Sophia's Gift
Reply to: 265569
ID: 265583

Dear Lorraine,

Thank you for this message and reminder of what we are trying to create. You, Kathie, Sharon, Barb, myself and others clearly want this to work, and we know there is a better way that does not require harming each other in order to succeed.

The community is holding the space for this. Are the five co-leaders willing to be part of this healing and growing process? What is still standing in the way? How can we help?

Sandra Beck

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--- On Mon, Oct 27, 2008, in msg265569, Lorraine Cook wrote ---

In my “day job” I have the great luck to work with a woman who models the most positive and successful leadership style I have ever seen. Here are some of the ways I have seen her create a functional cooperative group doing good work over a long period of time.

When disagreements appear, they are brought out in the open in a safe space— circle principles provide that.

Decisions are made by consensus as much as possible. When a decision is required that impacts the group, the group is given opportunity to give input to that decision and that input is thoughtfully included. Often a much better solution to a problem is possible when more voices are heard. This may slow down the decision-making process, but this slow-down creates so much more in wisdom, trust, and buy-in, that it is well worth the time.

When conflict emerges, each party has a chance to speak. Principles of non-violent or compassionate communication are employed to insure that each person is heard and has an opportunity to state what they feel and what they want. Often just those clear simple statements, when deeply heard, are enough to allow both sides to see that they agree more than they disagree and they can find ways for each person to get their needs met . If the parties involved don’t have the skills to do this kind of conversation, then mediation is brought in to assist.

This is the kind of leadership and process I would like to see in Sophia. In an earlier posting Bruce shared his experience with the Parliament of World Religions. He said:

"The Parliament of World Religions -- a ten-day international conference with 10,000 attendees -- might be roughly comparable to what people want to do in Sophia. But let me just say -- that the CPWR did not develop that conference as a grass-roots network, with wide-open feedback and input from all its participants. Far from it. That conference was entirely controlled and developed behind the scenes in a "strictly hierarchical" way by the CPWR. Yes, they listened to input from participants, and they were influenced by that input -- but they were not controlled by it, and they did not give that input an open internet voice. People played by their rules, or they didn't play."

While it's fine that that kind of organization and input worked for the Parliament of World Religions, it’s a different vision from the one I hold. My dream of women's wisdom rising comes along with a set of ideas about how that happens. For me, the means is as important, maybe MORE important, than the ends. The process of how we work together—all together, all voices honored, nobody damaged, nobody left out--is important because the process is where we live. The process is how we treat each other, the ways we find to deeply respect each other, recognizing that we all have weaknesses and don’t always live up to our ideals, but we are in this together and we keep the channels of communication open. In my vision of Sophia, even our weaknesses become of service because we are whole together--nobody is dispensable because each one brings their unique gifts and perspective.

I am hoping and praying for a peaceful creative resolution to the unfinished business that I see remains in the heart of the Sophia leadership group when one group publicly dissassociated from another. Even if the decision the five make now together is to form a strategic alliance of different efforts organized in different ways, it would give great joy and energy to those who hold this dream to see a true healing break-through among the five. I would like to see each woman honored, nobody's reputation or work undermined, sincere apologies made and forgiveness offered and received for mistakes that have happened, and all the efforts inspired by Sophia wisdom to go forward synergistically.

As part of the surrounding circle, I urge the “founding five” to step up to that kind of leadership. It isn’t easy to let go of damaged feelings and personal preferences to seek common ground, but I know it is possible and there is so much to be gained by creating structures that allow us all to truly support each other. This is the gift I think Sophia can be to the world. This is what the world is aching to learn how to do.

I’d like to just end with words from a song written by a friend of mine:

Life is short and there is not much time to gladden the hearts of those who travel the way with us,

So be swift to love, make haste to be kind.

And gladden the hearts of those who travel the way.

May all beings listen to the deepest calling of the heart.

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