I'M SORRY-SISTER DO NOT APPOLOGIZE
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From: White Feather
Date: Wednesday, August 16, 2006, 5:03 PM
Subject: I'm sorry-Sister Do Not Appologize
Reply to: 256369
ID: 253933

Dear Colline, 

When you posted your message yesterday I thought it brilliant! If you 
made any "mistake", you were being divinely guided. 

Mirrors and sheilds...we need to look at this. 

Those who do no harm need never fear a mirror. All they would ever 
behold is innocence and beauty.The law of three would send that back 
to them amplified threefold.

Those who have done their "Shadow Work" have no fear of mirrors, as 
they do not project their disowned demons onto others. Like true 
spiritual warriors, they own them and deal with them. They do not 
fear strong emotions. They are comfortable with what needs to arise 
as we move through all the stages of birthing. They do not perceive 
one emotion as bad and another good. They take in the entire context.

Mirroring is what we most need now. Every child requires healthy 
mirroring in order to grow into a strong adult. Without that, they 
falter. In sacred circles, we can use the time together to mirror 
each other, offering the gift often lost in childhood. It is never 
too late to reclaim it.

Sheilds are really about establishing healty boundaries. I will close 
by sharing a list of "Rules" that many will find of interest. In 
reading this, keep in mind the concept of family being more than just 
the immediate blood ties...but all relationships...personal to global.
Nothing that is true for the actualization of a healthy family, is 
not also true for manifesting a healthy circle...a healthy world.

"Dysfunctional Family Rules"

1-Problems are denied and therefore never solved.

2-Feelings, thoughts, desires and perceptions, are rigidly controlled 
with varying degrees of expression.

3-Communication is indirect, incongruent and vague.

4-Anyone trying to get their needs met is called "selfish".

5-Family members MUST CONFORM to family rules: THEY CANNOT BE   
DIFFERENT.

6-Anxiety levels are high at the slightest deviation from 
the "established norm".

7-Parents(Leaders) are unself-disciplined disiplinarians.

8-Roles are rigid and assigned.

9-The "general atmosphere" is grim.


"Functional Family Rules"

1-Problems are acknowledged and effectively solved.

2-Feelings, desires, perceptions and thoughts can be freely expressed.

3-Communication is DIRECT, CONGRUENT, AND SENSORY BASED.(immanence 
here)

4-Family members can be different. Love and acceptance are not 
witheld if they are marching to the beat of a "different drummer".

5-Anxiety levels are low.

6-Parents do what they say...congruency and integrity.

7-Family members can get their needs met and not be accused of 
selfishness, or other "crimes".

8-Family roles are CHOSEN(CONCIOUSLY) AND FLEXIBLE.

9-The Atmosphere is fun ,joyful and open.

From Virginia Satir, I add:
"Each person in a functional family, has access to their own natural 
endowments. These "endowments " are embodied in THE FIVE FREEDOMS.

Freedoms Are:

1-The freedom to see and hear(perceive) "WHAT IS HERE AND NOW" RATHER 
THAN WHAT WAS, WILL, OR "SHOULD" BE.

2-The freedom to think what one thinks, RATHER THAN WHAT ONE "SHOULD" 
THINK.

3-The freedom to FEEL WHAT ONE FEELS, RATHER THAN WHAT 
ONE "SHOULD"FEEL.

4-The freedom to ask for what one wants, instead of waiting for 
permission.

5-THE FREEDOM TO TAKE RISKS ON ONE'S OWN BEHALF INSTEAD OF CHOOSING 
TO BE SECURE AND ALWAYS PLAYING IT SAFE."

To Healty Families, Healthy Circles and A Healthy World.

White Feather