Hello Starr*, Constance, Ram, and All,

I can relate to the Ho'oponopono message because I made the following observation when I was working as a psychiatrist:

For those patients that were pushing my buttons, I decided to try NOT responding to them (actually to my inner sense of being provoked); in the past I would argue or defend myself, but this time I just decided to listen and to see what happened to me internally. I found that their communications began shedding light on the spots inside me that needed healing, and, as I listened to them, I was simultaneously listening to myself. So I was, in effect, being a parent to both them and to my inner (wounded) child.

After awhile, after healing/discharging some of my own negativity, I found that their communications no longer triggered states of anguish/frustration on my part; my perception changed. They were now expressing "something", but it no longer appeared negative; it just appeared to be energy that they were releasing. Since my buttons no longer existed, their negativity could not be transferred to me, so it was released, with the two of us observing the release.

This brought me to an important realization: It is not that I am accepting the "blame" for the originally negative interaction; it is that I am looking within to become aware of my negativity, to heal it and release it. As with the story of the man that healed a ward of criminally insane individuals by looking within as to how he had "created" or "perceived" their condition, many individuals have the misperception that the process of looking within is a process of blaming oneself for other people's aggression. But my looking within is not self-blame; it is an attempt to remove from my subconscious any receptor for the aggression or negativity of others. I know that it is difficult, but it is possible.

There is a woman at work who is constantly infuriated with me, and she speaks harshly and hatefully to me, with her voice loaded with blame and criticism. While it is currently difficult for me to speak with her, I am truly looking forward to the day when, suddenly, I will perceive her as energetically releasing trapped negativity, as the two of us observe without feeling the anguish any longer. I will keep working on my own trapped negativity that she is shedding light on. I will try "I'm sorry, thank you, forgive me, I love you".

Love,

Kenneth